I have spent the day in pain. Yes I have moaned about it to pretty much everyone, including all on Twitter, and have I had an ounce of sympathy? No I bloody haven't. A few 'oh well you haven't got long left, have you' which was met with a silent 'oh fuck off'.

Not only have I had backache and stomach cramps to contend with, She has kicked the shit out of my insides so my ribs are considerably more bruised that what they were this morning. I don't think she likes pineapple.

Anyway, I have only just swallowed a couple of painkillers as I was trying not to be a wuss ('you'll be in a lot more pain when you're in labour' - er...did I ask you?) and they have yet to kick in. A slow walk around the supermarket may help as, according to my earth mother mid-wife, walking solves all aches and pains. It doesn't, I tried this at the beginning of the week when I had cramps and the result was me walking like I had shit myself. It makes it worse, you walk slow and then you need seven wees. I'm only going to the supermarket to buy some more Flash bathroom spray (I have a craving for cleaning products) and a sponge to suck on (not the Victoria kind) and I have run out of Vimto ice lollies (the only food that doesn't give me heartburn).

Is there anything else I have missed out? Hmm, apart from my ladyparts hurting (it feels like I've had sex with a bunch of razorblades), extreme tiredness (although I haven't really moved much today) and the urge to paint the entire house....I'm just dandy.

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