A Positive Birth

I've written before, way back on this blog, about my birth story. It wasn't a great experience and mainly I blame myself for not being better informed. By the time I was taken in for induction, I was pretty fed up at carrying my bump around and the SPD was becoming unbearable but I feel like if I'd had more support from my midwife (I'd never had the same midwife twice at the antenatal clinic) and did some research on how safe it is to go past 42 weeks, I probably would have waited it out to see if my stubborn child was going to make an appearance on her own (I was told that going past 42 weeks was dangerous - the perfect word to shit a first time, heavily pregnant woman up).

What I didn't know then is that it's perfectly ok to go past 40 weeks and even 42, the baby will come out... it has to and there is no doubt about that. And there are plenty of cons when it comes to being induced, not especially that you have someones hand shoved up your vagina countless times a day until there's sign of an impending birth. I'm speaking from a bad experience, I know women who have had a great experience with an induction but if there's no need for one, really no need for one then... why not just wait? But forearmed is forewarned and you can bet your bottom dollar that this time I'm going to do my research and ensure that my midwife is supportive (and hopefully the same woman every time) and positive (I was told at around 32 weeks that my baby was measuring small by tape measure standards and that they may have to deliver early by c-section... went for a private scan to be told that my baby was measuring just fine... I spent the majority of that pregnancy scared by someone or other).

There is a great article here about avoiding induction and the experience of one woman...

"The most important lesson I learned was: trust yourself. Others are scared because they can’t feel what you can

feel. I knew my body was designed to carry this baby. I’d got through nine months (OK, ten months…) perfectly

safely and didn’t believe my body would just ‘give up’ at the end. That kind of faith is frowned upon in

conventional medicine because it can’t be controlled or rationalised. I chose to listen to people who respected 

my judgement and supported my positive attitude, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made."

I've found The Positive Birth Movement to be a great help, alongside The Calm Birth School's program (more on that later). TPBM is a great site for any pregnant woman, whether you're having your first baby or seeking positivity for subsequent births that may not have gone so well. You can read some amazing birth stories here, join your local PBM group or get involved through social media. They even hold workshops. After reading through their site, I feel so much more positive about this pregnancy and hope that I'll still feel the same as my pregnancy continue.

You can find websites recommended for their positivity during pregnancy and birth, great books to read and Facebook groups worth a follow. I cannot shout about them enough and urge every pregnant woman to go check them out.

You can find out more about The Positive Birth Movement here. It's time to shake up childbirth.

Things Change

When you fall pregnant it's not just your body that undergoes drastic changes, you'll notice a whole ton of other things changing too...

Your ability to give a shit: Whether it's what people think of you, what other mums are judging you for, comparisons (and there will be A LOT of those)... Just the general I suppose, you have more important things to worry about these days like piles, nipple chafing and your perineum. I've very rarely cared about people's opinions of me, Iv've never thought twice about telling people what I think or to fuck off for that matter... but once I fell pregnant with Lil that went to a whole new level. Embrace it, it's a skill you'll need in the coming years.

Your priorities: Suddenly, getting pissed up every weekend is the last thing you want to be doing. Instead, feasts in front of the telly seem more appealing and it won't be long before you're begging for leg rubs and hot bubble baths. You'll be snoring by 9pm, just you wait...  Always been one to watch your weight? Well then pregnancy isn't for you. While carrying a child isn't an excuse to pig out on junk food (ahem), you will gain weight and it's all for a good cause. So chill out and enjoy being able to let go, you can get back on your strict regimes once the baby arrives.

Taste buds / sense of smell: My sense of smell has always been on point but since being pregnant, it's out of this world. I can tell if my husband is wearing his stinky trainers (that will be going in the bin this weekend) the second he walks through the front door. I can smell lemons from a mile away (barf) and I don't even need to step outside the front door to smell the delicious chinese food from the takeaway down the road, I have super smelling powers. I used to have a massive sweet tooth but I can't stand anything sweet at the moment unless it's a banana, which is very unfortunate because we have A LOT of Easter chocolate left.

Tolerance of others: I used to have the patience of a saint, something that comes naturally to you once you have a child (most of the time), it must be the hormones but right now I just cant stand a lot of people, especially bullshitters (and I can smell those from pretty far away). Luckily for them, I'm biting my tongue (literally, it's pretty sore at the moment). I don't have time or the energy to deal with idiots who are fake to my face and then slag me off behind my back... and I know they're doing it, so if you're reading this and are one of those people, I've got you figured out. Stop it or eff off.

How you deal with illness: I've been a wuss when it comes to colds and coughs for a while but pregnancy and colds are two things that just do NOT go together (especially when you've been slacking with your pelvic floor exercises). You're already being zapped of all the good stuff by your growing baby then BAM you get a cold and the world ends. I'm currently on the sofa with the dog sneezing and coughing and spluttering, wondering how I'm going to get through the week with a long 'to do' list and places to be (all of which, I can't get out of). One word: DELEGATE. Regardless of whether or not you're pregnant, you won't get better until you rest BUT playing the pregnancy card (if you are pregnant, obviously) is one of the perks of the job so you damn well take advantage of that girl!

What changed for you when you were the duff? Is it your first time and you've found yourself struggling to hold your tongue? Tell me.

A New Baby Checklist

I will never claim to be an expert on pregnancy or parenting, simply because there are no such things. Everyone has their own way of doing it, I mean... I didn't attend any classes with my first pregnancy because I know how to breathe through pain and how to calm myself down (and that isn't with a large glass of red) and when it came down to giving birth, I didn't have to do much except lay there and not die (c-section... sorry, it's my dry sense of humour, I'm aware this isn't much use to you if you have a planned section awaiting you or are worried your pregnancy may result in a section... ignore me). With my anxiety through the roof now this time, I'll definitely be taking some kind of class (more on this soon).

One thing I know to be universally true though, is that you really don't need all the shit these 'new baby checklists' say you do. I guess it's a matter of finances / sanity / space amongst other things. So here is MY version of what you do and don't need, take it or leave it. Please do let me know if I've left anything important out...

A pram / travel system or whatever you like to call them

This doesn't need to be an £800 kit nor does it need to be Bugaboo (personally, I cannot stand the look of them). Your baby won't give two shits what it's balling around in, just that's it's comfy. And fuck those other mums with their Rolls Royce prams... if you like it and it's a good pram for your kid then buy it. Other mums judge you regardless of your buggy, let that be lesson one for you. Remember good old ebay? Well you can normally find the pram you're after for a fraction of the price, let's not be a snob about it. If you have £500+ to burn then go ahead but it really isn't necessary and some people are sensible and plan a budget for what they want to spend (that's me, this time). I've found the one I want selling on ebay for no more than £150 and full price it's well over £500, no guesses for which one I'll be going for.

A Car Seat

This is essential regardless of whether or not you have a car / drive. You will not be discharged from hospital unless your baby is strapped into one. Always buy it brand new. Find out more here.

Crib / moses basket

I have strong opinions about these. We had a moses basket and a crib for Lil and in total she was in them until about week 10? So we'd pissed money up the wall for just 10 weeks. This time I'll be buying a cot only and a Sleepyhead. Again, moses baskets and cribs (cots too) can be purchased second hand and it's recommended you buy the mattresses brand new (more here). And again, it's a personal choice.

Baby monitor

I'm not sure how important it is that you have a monitor with a built in camera, I bought a standard one before because it had good reviews and I knew if I could see what she was doing (sleeping mainly) then I'd be checking constantly, driving myself mad. I guess the camera ones have their pros... personal choice etc (god, I'm getting bored of saying that now... just take everything as personal / financial choice from now on).

Room thermometer

Didn't have one of these, didn't feel the need. I was neurotic enough without fucking about with the central heating.

Baby bath

You can buy these cheap enough and I even saw one in my charity shop window for £1 the other day. Some people don't bother, others buy things like the Bathing Bucket Tummy Tub which looks fun but has mixed reviews, or a bath seat thingy. I haven't thought that far ahead really, probs just bathe it in the sink.

Changing table / changing mat

Didn't bother with this either and won't bother this time due to space being an issue (IS IT TIME TO MOVE AWAY YET?). A changing mat on the bed worked fine for us although the table is handy if you've had a c-section (I just persevered, being the martyr that I am).

Baby changing bag

Don't be conned into thinking you need to pay a lot of money for one of these. I got bored of mine pretty quickly and ended up using a large bag I loved with small pouches for things like cotton wool, cloths, wipes, change of baby clothes etc. If I had all the money? I'd buy one from here.

Baby bouncer

We were given one, second hand. It did the job until she got too big and then we were bought a version that lasts until they are three. Again I'd say go second hand if you wanted to watch your pennies. The covers are washable so the job's a good'un.


We got one second hand but didn't use it for long. I bought a lovely patchwork blanket for when she could start rolling over and just littered it with the usual baby shit (toys and the like) so she'd roll over and grab stuff instead of attempting pull ups by dangling off some swinging toy.


This is where we went a bit mental (I say we, I mean family). Hold off on the toys, babies couldn't give less of a shit about them for the first few months. Then when they are interested, try not to go too mad. You'll end up loathing the fact your house looks like a toy bomb exploded inside and they just end up in every room. That is one thing I'll be strict on this time. NO FUCKING CUDDLY TOYS.

Bottle steriliser and bottles

If you're going to breastfeed then my guess is you wont need this unless you won't be whacking your boobs out all the time until they're weaned (because night out / weekend away / work) or will combine breast with bottle (hungry baby or whatever). We went with Tommee Tippee (I didn't breastfeed, for reasons that are none of anyones business) and I had zero complaints about their products. What I really didn't need to buy was the whole shabam, we never ended up using the bottle warmer or insulated bags, mainly because she would not drink warm milk.


Lil was having none of it when I put her in one but then it might have just been a shitty one from Mothercare, I can't remember. I might give it a whirl again and have seen lots of milfs trying this one out.


Things like cot sheets, muslin squares, wipes, nappies (cloth or disposable), flannels, cotton wool, breast pads (they leak like mother fuckers regardless of whether you breastfeed or not) rain cover, sunshade, blankets, scratch mittens, socks, babygro's, vests... all of that it pretty standard and stuff you do need. Gro-bags? Not for me. I tried swaddling and she hated it.

I hope this helps, it's certainly helped me. Think I've got it all wrong? Keep that opinion to yourself, it's best you don't pick a fight with me right now (just ask my husband).

Week 14

I started writing about pregnancy the first time from around week 30 something? I don't know, I can't be bothered to go back and check. Maybe I'll do this every week, if there is anything particularly exciting to report, maybe not if I'm too tired or don't have much to say (can you see how much effort I'm putting in here?!).

Well I have a few things to say about my experience of week 14.

I remember the nausea lifting with Lil around this time of the pregnancy, it still comes and goes now but it isn't an all day thing and it certainly hasn't been HG like last time. I wouldn't say my bump is really bump-like, more fucking hell she's been eating for seven. It's a wobbly belly really, not completely solid although it isn't as jelly-like as last week. I want all the food all the time which is nice after weeks of not being able to stomach it for fear of losing my insides. I've been getting acid reflux too, which has been ongoing since my mental anxiety breakdown last January, but again that's on and off and I've been trying to control it through diet (I'm completely off chocolate, cake and biscuits... unless they are treats from Cookie and Biscuit) but my GP told me it will get worse which I knew already. Brillz.

The tiredness isn't as severe as it was but a morning out and I'm pretty much done for the rest of the day. I really do need to start exercising, I've ordered this pregnancy yoga dvd  and once I've found a swimsuit that isn't vomit inducing then I'll start swimming again too. My mental skin is getting more mental by the hour and I'm hoping that will calm down with time (and costly skincare products and perhaps, laying off the garlic sauce...see below).

My patience is very thin at the moment and I'm snapping at my daughter on and off which leaves me feeling awful. I've started leaving the room when I feel agitation bubbling up and that's helping a bit. If you ask my husband how my mood has been, he'll tell you I've been pretty nasty and that I hate his guts at the moment which isn't true (the hating part, not the nasty part) but again it's all hormones and out of my control. Hopefully that'll lift soon.

I've been craving garlic sauce on chips all day long (explains the wobbly stomach) and sometimes Dr Pepper (NO WONDER my skin is shit), crying at the stupidest thing and ordering books on crystal healing because PREGNANCY. My 'quirk' last time around was cleaning the bathroom up to four times a day because I was obsessed with the smell of Cif bathroom spray, that's called pica I think? Or maybe it's just a pregnancy quirk, either way my bathroom was spotless all the time.  


Do I post a bump picture? Or is that corny? Photos of me pregnant with Lil were few and far between, I was not a fan of bump shots back then, or anything pregnancy related to be honest. This time, though, I've been searching #14weekbump shots on Instagram because I'm finding it fascinating just how different bumps can be at the same time of pregnancy. I've struggled with maternity wear, I feel very let down by ASOS (cross face) because usually I'm ordering clothes every week from them but their maternity range is pretty whack at the moment. I'm now living in H&M maternity leggings and in the hope that summer will arrive soon. Ok, here is a bump picture (mainly food I'd imagine after the amount I had just eaten in IKEA)...

Do you like my hat? £2 from IKEA

Yes, it's definitely just one baby in there. The bloat I'm experiencing this time is insane. Bloat / large amounts of food... same difference.

That's week 14, hardly riveting stuff but I got a new hat (and lots of plants) so that topped it off nicely. Perhaps I'll see you at week 15, perhaps.

Oh hi it's me again!

I uhmed and ahhed about whether or not I could be bothered to start this blog back up, especially after my dramatic speech in my last post. But now I'm not so exhausted and falling into bed at half eight every night, I've found that I'm still awake at eleven thirty with a whirring brain, writing blog posts in my head. So I thought, even if nobody actually reads it, I should have a place to brain dump and then perhaps I'll be able to get to sleep easier without relying on white noise (Nature Space app - Infinite Shoreline).

It would also be nice to document shit that goes down over the next 25 weeks so that my kids can compare just how much they put me through before they made their appearances in the big wide world. Catch up... I'm almost 15 weeks pregnant.

I started writing about pregnancy quite late with Lil so the majority of my posts were whining about aches and pains and later on, how she fucked me over by being almost two weeks late resulting in a pretty horrendous induction experience (more on that later, oh I have plenty to say now I've had time to reflect, again, on how shit it was and how this time will be different) and then just pure love followed by more moaning. But hey, that's motherhood.

So here I am, short on patience with lots to say about how things are this time around. Although the post I wrote in my head last night has now deleted itself (shout out to baby brain which never actually fucking leaves once you give birth to your first), I just decided I would brain dump and that there probably would be no structure to this whatsoever. I think I've bored the shit out of anyone who follows any of my social media accounts with all my reposts about pregnancy stuff and pictures of nothing in particular moaning about how large I feel already. So at least by starting this up again, I can relieve them of all of that.

Anyway! There are two women in my life at this very moment who are also pregnant. Both first time mums who have had me firing advice at them since the beginning of their pregnancies, both probably sick of my words of wisdom(!) and tips on various things. So again, I'll probably just write it all down on here so they can take it or leave it without offending me (I wouldn't get offended).

This post isn't really coming across as a happy post is it? Well it's supposed to be a happy post. I'm happy (gobsmacked in fact) that I'm up the duff because I didn't actually think it would ever happen again. I feel very blessed etc. But let's not drag on about all that. I'll finish up now, the next post will be less rambling and more actual words that make some kind of sense (I think).

I'm happy to be back here and on this new(ish) journey, I hope you'll enjoy it as much as last time.