Baby baby baby baby baby.

I found this on my phone. Lil at 8 weeks old. I want need another baby.

Mama's funk.

I've been in a bit of a funk since Lil got sick over her birthday. We had a good routine established, she was eating well and I felt positive about everything. And then it all got shot to shit in the space of 24 hours. Since then, her routine has been up the creek and I've found it a constant struggle to try and get it back to normal.

So I gave up.

My enthusiasm, passion for pretty much anything and patience all went out the window along with her routine. I've been feeling blah about everything. And then I found this blog.

Let me tell you a little story:

We rent our house. When I was a stupid and naieve 21 year old, I bought a flat with my boyfriend thinking that we'd be together forever, as you do. It didn't work out so I left the relationship and the flat. Gave it all to him and moved back home. It was a mess, a right royal mess, and I vowed never to buy a property with anyone ever again. Besides, I was a free spirit, a rambling child. Nothing was gonna tie me down.

And then I met my husband.

Slightly nervous on the morning of our wedding

We agreed buying a house together was not a great idea. Neither of us wanted to settle in one place plus, buying was so last year and we were way too cool for that. We rented a house together, a lovely victorian town house. It was very 'us' and we lived there happily ever after. Until I got pregnant. A four storey town house was not suitable for a heavily pregnant bird or a crawling, sprawling baby. So we moved. And now we live here; in this three bedroom, 10 year old property with thin, magnolia walls. AND I HATE IT.

Obviously, I feel very blessed to I live in a house. A warm, dry house with no holes in the roof. There are people less fortunate than me, I know. But it isn't our house. It doesn't feel like home.

And all of a sudden, I really really really crave a home. A house that is ours. That we own. 

So when I came across this blog, I knew that it wasn't just one of my passing phases to own a home again (others include having another baby, getting my nose pierced, knitting...).

Alexis has a beautiful place. She's a normal human being too, she has clutter! I have sat for hours (and left The Bubble Guppies to watch Lil) reading through her blog, admiring her interior choices. Feeling just a little bit green with envy that she has this wonderful place with lots of pretty things (take a look and you'll understand why). And she makes stuff too, like this love letter and these butterflies and this cooker for her daughter. But what she and her husband have made so ridiculously well (aside from two adorable children) is a home.

And just like that, I don't feel 'beige' anymore. I feel inspired to work towards buying us somewhere that we can make our own, to gather all my ideas together, to save money to buy beautiful things to put in our home. And it isn't just me that feels like this, Tim wants us to buy too! I feel alive again (soz for the cringe) and other than trying to get Lil's routine back to normal, I feel I have a purpose (not just to clean and cook and be a mother and a wife). I want to make things and do things and have more adventures.

This is a bit of a disjointed post, I know. But my head is now buzzing with a zillion things I want to do and two hundred more ideas. I'm excited!

So thank you, Alexis, for bringing me out of this funk.

Is it Autumn yet?

So it's quite apparent that Summer is here. Or is it? I guess we'll find out soon enough (the forecast for Friday is 14 degrees). The rain got a bit much for Lil and I, it's quite restricting so the warm, dry weather has been a welcome relief. Or at least it was...

It's ASOS's fault. I broke my favourite sandals so I thought I'd see if they had any nice ones, even though their customer service is crap. I wish I hadn't bothered now. Someone please tell me: who the hell shops at ASOS? Anyone over 24? It's all skimpy swimsuits and short, short shorts (I'm beginning to sound like an old bag, I know).

Image from The Daily Mail, obviously (and no I do not read that shit).

Gone are the days when I can wear those shorts without my cellulite ridden arse hanging out the bottom. And those bikinis? I got tits covered in stretch marks and a jelly belly, nobody wants to see that. Even the swimsuits show skin that I don't want to show. And what's with the crop tops and barely there vests? My bingo wings (or farms - fat arms as me and my sisters call them) shrivelled up in horror at the sight of them.

Come on ASOS, we're not all perky twenty year olds. Maybe you should have a section dedicated to Mums who still want to look a bit cool but don't necessarily want to show the whole park their arse cheeks/loose skin/pimple covered thighs.

So after looking through what they had to offer in the Summer wear department, I am now cursing this weather and wishing Autumn would hurry up.

Did I find any sandals? I gave up...


Yesterday we visited Sissinghurst Castle (I can't remember if I told you; we recently became members of The National Trust - don't knock it until you've tried it...). 

The history of Sissinghurt dates back to the Seven Years War but it was the story of Vita Sackville-West that I was intrigued by. Vita, a writer and close friend of Virginia Woolf, lived here with her husband in the 1930's. Known for their strong marriage, they were both also bisexual. Vita was famous for her exuberant life and affair with Woolf.

Image: Wikipedia


If you're looking for a place to visit in Kent that is steeped in history and has amazing gardens, Sissinghurst is a must.

For more information and opening times, click here.

This post was not sponsored.


So we're back and boy did we have an amazing time. Did you see the pictures?

After a bit of a wobble at the beginning of the flight, we spent just over seven hours in the air watching Bubble Guppies (as you do). Lil was an absolute treasure from the moment we took off until the moment we landed back in London. And I never say that. Mainly because it isn't true. But this time she was a bloody joy.

We pretty much crashed as soon as we got to the hotel. I was soaked through in vomit (Lil had a bit of an accident in the cab) and we were all exhausted. And then we woke up to a ridiculously sunny New York morning.

We didn't go to New York to shop or be tourists. Tim went for work and Lil and I went to just hang. You didn't go shopping? Well, I bought a pair of $6 sunglasses and a vintage dress...

I've visited the city a handful of times in the past with work but this time was different. I certainly wasn't single and carefree. I had a toddler to show the city to and she was enthralled from the moment we got there. We sat in parks, strolled up and down Broadway, ate bagels in the sunshine, walked and walked (or toddled, holding hands), visited our NY friends, hung out with Lil's aunt (she was in NY for work), dined in yummy restaurants, spent a lot of time in Duane Reade... we even saw Elmo!

I had a moment of calm and peacefulness while the two of us were sitting in Central Park. Lil was people watching and I was watching her while we shared a lolly. I've never seen her as happy as she was at that moment, and I've never been as happy as I was at that moment. It was lovely, my heart wanted to burst. That's one moment I'll always remember.

In the middle of a park in the noisy city on a hot day.

NY we heart you.