It's ASOS's fault. I broke my favourite sandals so I thought I'd see if they had any nice ones, even though their customer service is crap. I wish I hadn't bothered now. Someone please tell me: who the hell shops at ASOS? Anyone over 24? It's all skimpy swimsuits and short, short shorts (I'm beginning to sound like an old bag, I know).
Image from The Daily Mail, obviously (and no I do not read that shit).
Gone are the days when I can wear those shorts without my cellulite ridden arse hanging out the bottom. And those bikinis? I got tits covered in stretch marks and a jelly belly, nobody wants to see that. Even the swimsuits show skin that I don't want to show. And what's with the crop tops and barely there vests? My bingo wings (or farms - fat arms as me and my sisters call them) shrivelled up in horror at the sight of them.
Come on ASOS, we're not all perky twenty year olds. Maybe you should have a section dedicated to Mums who still want to look a bit cool but don't necessarily want to show the whole park their arse cheeks/loose skin/pimple covered thighs.
So after looking through what they had to offer in the Summer wear department, I am now cursing this weather and wishing Autumn would hurry up.
Did I find any sandals? I gave up...