33 + 5

It's a miserable Thursday morning and I'm....miserable.

After ten hours of broken sleep, I'm exhausted. Now you might all be thinking 'wow, I wish I could have ten hours sleep' but it really isn't like that. Ten hours starts from the moment I get into bed. It usually then take two hours for the baby to settle and stop kicking me in the ribs or elbowing me in the bladder. Once I have dozed off, the next eight hours consist of constant trips to the loo. Each trip leaves me terrified that I'm going to wake her up. If I'm lucky, she won't stir. If, however, the devil child does wake up it means another hour or so trying to settle her back to sleep. This involves rocking my entire body from side to side. It doesn't always work. If she doesn't want to go back to sleep (and she rarely does) then I have to suffer with each kick or nudge. If you haven't been pregnant before then you may be thinking 'meh, it can't be that bad - she's obviously just a misery' but believe me, each kick makes me want to spew everywhere. It's possibly the most uncomfortable one can be (maybe except from having a rolling pin shoved up your arse but I've never experienced that so I can't compare). If you have been pregnant and have only experienced a pain free, wonderful, peaceful pregnancy then lucky you. I bet you're sitting there smugly reading this aren't you? I bet you're a right earth mother. Well, fuck off.

So I've had my coco pops and I'm now watching This Morning. I have a really bad backache and stomach cramps. I also feel, at some point today, I will need to go to the toilet with the runs (nobody said I was going to sugar coat this - oh no, you want to know what it's like so I'm going to tell you EVERYTHING in as much detail as I can). Now these three symptoms could well be the onset of early labour. I'm hoping that they are (I'm convinced she will be early) but she's probably just playing up because that is what she does. I want this little being out of me, she has caused nothing but trouble since day one. Of course I'll forget about all of the bad stuff once she's out (no I fucking won't) and be overwhelmed with love, sure. But in reality I have another six weeks left and I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Watch this space...


  1. How are the cartwheels coming along!?

    Wow, you're prepared! It's so interesting to me to read this blog and you have no idea how much I appreciate your honesty. Every woman I've spoken to/every website I've visited talk about pregnancy as being the best thing ever. As someone thinking about having a baby in the coming year, I'm grateful to read this.

    Sorry you're having such an awful time but 6 weeks to go and like you said, maybe only a few days left...


    PS - coco pops solve everything, no?

  2. Backache is stopping me from cartwheels!

    Pregnancy may well be the best thing for some women, a few of my friends have breezed through theirs. But for me it has been quite traumatic since day one and I feel every woman deserves an honest account of how it may be... Good luck with the babymaking, I do hope your pregnancy will be easy.


    P.S Coco pops solve EVERYTHING.