I shall tell you what has got right on my goat this morning shall I? Two emails I received from two different companies (these companies claim they help you throughout your pregnancy) of which I shall quote two different extracts....(beware - lots of swearing. From me not them, stupid.)
"Hi Charlotte. You are now in week 34! (am I? Well I never) Your brilliant baby (Brilliant?!) has been spending time asleep and awake for a while. (You have got to be fucking kidding me. Do these people think I'm stupid? I've felt her awake since I fell down the stairs and woke her up at week 16) She can also hear. (ah good, she'll know that she has a lot to answer for when she gets out then)"
"Dear Charlotte, you are now 34 weeks pregnant (I don't need reminding, thank you) and here's your update...Once your baby is engaged (head down, further into the birth canal for those that don't know), you can feel a little uncomfortable - (this rendered me speechless, a little uncomfortable???? Just a little? From when her head has engaged? I've been uncomfortable for the past fucking seven and a half months) it might make you waddle a bit (A BIT?). Having difficulty seeing and reaching your feet? (No, I can touch my toes you idiot...yes I haven't seen my feet for a while) How about a relaxing pedicure? (That would be nice seeings as I can't even tie my own fucking shoe laces)"
So you see, receiving stupid emails like that first thing in the morning after no sleep really does not help an already irate pregnant lady. Telling her something she already knows? How is that 'helping' me through my pregnancy?
I'm off to eat cake and be a grump for the rest of the day. Bye.