'Not long to go now...' everyone keeps bleating. Whatevs.

I am now struggling to walk. I look like a ninety eight year old granny that's messed her granny pants. I'm also weighing in the same as a beach whale so to console myself I just ate two chocolate cupcakes. That will be another 4lb gain. Excellent.

The bump has grown overnight, it's fucking huge. I'm going to start measuring it, if it gets any bigger I shall be housebound until she gets here. I really am struggling with this extra weight which, I guess, is a good thing because it means I'll never be fat.

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