After a large glass of red wine last night the devil child decided to settle and didn't wake up until half nine this morning which meant I had a lovely long sleep (except for the eight trips to the loo although I have mastered the art of sleepwalking to the bathroom).

I still have a very sore pelvis and cramps which could be the start of something or nothing, probably nothing. A lot of people think today is the day but they're all going to be wrong, she'll be late just to piss me off even more. I'm not bothered though, I've already plotted ways to get her back. And if she carries on the way she is, she most certainly will not be inheriting my shoe and bag collection...

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