Mama's funk.

I've been in a bit of a funk since Lil got sick over her birthday. We had a good routine established, she was eating well and I felt positive about everything. And then it all got shot to shit in the space of 24 hours. Since then, her routine has been up the creek and I've found it a constant struggle to try and get it back to normal.

So I gave up.

My enthusiasm, passion for pretty much anything and patience all went out the window along with her routine. I've been feeling blah about everything. And then I found this blog.

Let me tell you a little story:

We rent our house. When I was a stupid and naieve 21 year old, I bought a flat with my boyfriend thinking that we'd be together forever, as you do. It didn't work out so I left the relationship and the flat. Gave it all to him and moved back home. It was a mess, a right royal mess, and I vowed never to buy a property with anyone ever again. Besides, I was a free spirit, a rambling child. Nothing was gonna tie me down.

And then I met my husband.

Slightly nervous on the morning of our wedding


We agreed buying a house together was not a great idea. Neither of us wanted to settle in one place plus, buying was so last year and we were way too cool for that. We rented a house together, a lovely victorian town house. It was very 'us' and we lived there happily ever after. Until I got pregnant. A four storey town house was not suitable for a heavily pregnant bird or a crawling, sprawling baby. So we moved. And now we live here; in this three bedroom, 10 year old property with thin, magnolia walls. AND I HATE IT.


Obviously, I feel very blessed to I live in a house. A warm, dry house with no holes in the roof. There are people less fortunate than me, I know. But it isn't our house. It doesn't feel like home.

And all of a sudden, I really really really crave a home. A house that is ours. That we own. 


So when I came across this blog, I knew that it wasn't just one of my passing phases to own a home again (others include having another baby, getting my nose pierced, knitting...).

Alexis has a beautiful place. She's a normal human being too, she has clutter! I have sat for hours (and left The Bubble Guppies to watch Lil) reading through her blog, admiring her interior choices. Feeling just a little bit green with envy that she has this wonderful place with lots of pretty things (take a look and you'll understand why). And she makes stuff too, like this love letter and these butterflies and this cooker for her daughter. But what she and her husband have made so ridiculously well (aside from two adorable children) is a home.

And just like that, I don't feel 'beige' anymore. I feel inspired to work towards buying us somewhere that we can make our own, to gather all my ideas together, to save money to buy beautiful things to put in our home. And it isn't just me that feels like this, Tim wants us to buy too! I feel alive again (soz for the cringe) and other than trying to get Lil's routine back to normal, I feel I have a purpose (not just to clean and cook and be a mother and a wife). I want to make things and do things and have more adventures.

This is a bit of a disjointed post, I know. But my head is now buzzing with a zillion things I want to do and two hundred more ideas. I'm excited!

So thank you, Alexis, for bringing me out of this funk.






8 comments:

  1. My only goal in life is to own my own house lol. It's sad, but it means so many things. I hate my flat, and I'm really settling. I'd rather live in a dump I own, and work on it than in the flat we live in now. Happy to hear you've found a purpose, and gotten some passion back! xx

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    1. It means SO many things and it isn't sad at all. I feel exactly the same, I hate spending money on decorating in the house we live in. We're paying to make someone elses house lovely :( xxx

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  2. Charlotte, I love the way you write,it makes me nod my head in agreement and it makes me laugh. I own my own house in the county and I love it in so many different ways I never expected. I love turning in the gate, I love coming downstairs at night when everyone is in bed.. Despite the hefty mortgage it is one of the best thing I have ever done, apart from making a real live person of course.

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    1. Thank you so much, you've made me smile! It sounds divine where you live, I can't wait to up and move to the countryside one day soon (i hope!) xxx

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  3. Have you developed a Rightmove addiction yet? I started looking at the website when we were buying a house and I'm still guilty of trawling to see what other houses are out there.

    It's not a problem though. I can quit whenever I want..

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    1. Me and Tim both have a problem with the rightmove app. It's all we ever do!

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  4. Wow wow wow perfect life envy then stop think why not? Time management and being savvy person or just relaxedness? Need to involve others in our passions. It's fun to make things beautiful but time or initiative is needed... Also, often find as a renter you need better neighbours. Wish I had musicians, artists, dancers and philosophers as open neighbours to spend the days with while I get my house in shape along with a fun creative lifestyle instead of mundaneness. OH gosh this has also inspired me thank you x

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    1. I'm glad this has inspired you too. I hope we get those kind of neighbours when we buy, at the moment our neighbours aren't the nicest! xxx

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