One tomorrow! I'm just not sure how that happened! It only seems not that long ago I was wondering when I was going to fall in love with you. You were a few hours old and I just didn't know what to feel, due to a mixture of a complicated labour and traumatic birth and lots of drugs I guess. And the day we left the hospital I was so overcome with love for you it made me sick to the stomach. An emotion I can't say I was familiar with had invaded my body and I didn't fight it. Why would I? You were mine.
Here we are, on the eve of your first birthday. I have felt so much in a whole year, such a mixture of emotions. We've had some pretty low times, times where I just couldn't leave the house because one more screaming session in front of a whole coffee shop of people would have led to me being sectioned, I'm sure. But then we've had so many joyful, happy times. The bad times just seem to have faded.
You have grown in to such a beautiful little girl. I know, I'm biased. And what?! You're very funny, a little comedian already. You're bright, extremely vocal, expressive. All the things I never really thought about. I just let nature take its course and threw in a few books and songs here and there and look what we've made!
My heart bursts with joy every time I look at you, every time I think of you when we aren't together. You are the love of my life, I would die for you.
When I was pregnant, I was so worried I'd get bored of you and fall out of love. I don't know why, maybe it's because that's what people do in relationships sometimes. But I was being silly. I've tired of people, places and objects. Fallen out of love with them. But not for one second have I fallen out of love with you. Not even at 3am when I'm pulling my hair out because you just won't settle. And mama really does love her sleep.
I hope the next year is full of happiness, good health and lots of love and laughter for you. I'll protect you as much as I can from any negativity and I'll always have the antibac to hand to destroy any germs!
Happy birthday to you, my beautiful girl.
I love you to the stars and back.