On Fitness (and vanity)

I've made it no secret I joined the gym. The more 'likes' I get for my gym gear pictures on Instagram, the more motivated I become. If you favourite my tweet about spin class, I'm literally spinning. I CAN DO THIS! PEOPLE LIKE THAT I'M GETTING FIT, YEAH! I shout to myself in the mirror (lie).

But why am I doing it? Why do I sit on a bike for 45 minutes, trying not to vomit just to feel as though I've had five rolling pins shoved up my arse? Why do I swing weights round and round, trying not to knock myself out? Because I want to be fit? No. Because I want to be healthy? NO. Because I am vain.

She's so vain, I bet she thinks this song is about her....

But you're right, I'm not getting any younger and I can't just eat a pack of biscuits anymore without gaining half a stone and three inches around my waist. I can't walk around the block three times and burn 1000 calories like I used to. I have to work hard if I want the body of my twenty year old former self back, damn hard. 

I go to the gym not because I want my bpm to be a good rate (I don't know what I'm talking about) but because I want all the twenty two year old boys in Ibiza to go PWHOAR. I want to step out of the shower and not feel my belly wobble (I wish going to the gym would tone my tits up, Jesus...). I want my body to be TIGHT.

At this point you've probably realised I'm one of the vainest people on the planet (you haven't met my little brother). Not true and a harsh judgement you've just made, shame on you. I do want to be healthy, I was only messing around before (lie) but I also want to look good. Having a baby has knocked my body confidence a bit (might have something to do with chocolate hobnobs too), but I'm determined to build it back up again for the summer. I CAN DO THIS.

She writes, eating a bagel and dreaming of all the crap she's going to scoff in New York...


  1. you got this!and going to the gym will boost up your tits! and you know everyone else is feeling the same way- this winter has been harsh to my continuous weight struggle. Almost there though,a stone to go before i am back in skinny bikini form!

  2. Oh good god yes! We have a holiday at the end of March and i will look slamming! No mummy muffins top here!

  3. We're ALL vain. You just pull it off better than the rest of us.

  4. You're going to be just fine! Tight and fit! (I remember feeling like my insides were going to fall out at any minute :| - now that my youngest is 4 I finally have strong-ish abs again and I don't feel like I'm spilling over the edges (it wasn't that visible but it was not a nice feeling) So it's just a matter of time :)