What a week. Hang on, it's Tuesday...

It feels like Friday already.

Seeings as I started this blog full of honesty, wearing my heart on my sleeve, I shall continue to do so. I share my life with you, so I'm going to keep on sharing.

Things are pretty crappy at the moment. My husband and I have been going through a rough patch for, well, pretty much most of the last year or so. We're both to blame. We've both done wrong. We both tried to fix it.

Unfortunately it just hasn't worked out for us so for now Lil and I will be staying at my Mums and he shall see her as much as he wants to. I must clarify, I will never keep him from seeing her. People find ways to twist words so I just want you all to be clear.

Will we find a way to make it work? Maybe. Maybe not. Right now I need to clear my head.

What hasn't helped the already heavy strain on our relationship is malicious comments with regards to my mothering of our daughter, not by him, by someone in his family. It's hard enough being a Mother without people sticking their nose in to something they have no experience in. I feel sad that my blog has been taken out of context and has been used against me and I'm deeply upset I've been accused of being a 'bad mother'.

So I've decided to take a break from writing about my journey as a mother. Maybe I should have started writing anonymously. My aim was always to be honest. My friends and close family know that I often say things in jest and I rarely mean them. Maybe I'll start a new blog, anonymously, so nobody can judge me for the things I say. Maybe I just won't bother. What I will continue to do is be a good mother for my daughter.


I hope you've all enjoyed my, our, journey. I want to thank you all for your support over the past year. You've all inspired me to continue my journey honestly. I will be back. Next week, next month, next year. I'm not sure. But for now I need to keep Lilian's world a happy one. She is my priority, she is my life.

Take care everyone.

See you soon xxxxx

19 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear that it is even tougher at the moment for you. Your blog has been a great help to me and I wish I was as expressive as you. You have all my support and I hope you will back and find the writing to be helpful. xxx

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  2. I'm gutted.... I only just found your blog. It was the most honest and funny blog I have read. The honestly in your writing was amazing to read. I showed a friend who wasn't enjoying her pregnancy.
    Like me she sat down and read it in one sitting also laughing out loud.
    I hope you resolve things with your husband, I also hope you start blogging again soon!!
    Xxx

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    1. I'm happy you can laugh at my blog, it's what I intended! Thank you xxx

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  3. Hi Charlotte, Have been reading and enjoying your blog for months now and have enjoyed your honesty and humour so much, especially when so many blogs are full of picture perfect shit. It is much harder to tell it how it actually is. You are clearly an amazing mother and Lil is a lucky girl. You are right to take a step back, I hope things improve for you and you are back writing soon. Mind yourself x

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    1. Hi Claire, Thank you for your comment. I agree, a lot of the time people paint this perfect picture of Motherhood and it sucks! I'm glad you enjoy the honesty! xxx

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  4. As I said before Charlotte, you're one of the good ones. Tweeter, blogger, Mother. All of those. God knows it's difficult but try to have confidence in your ability as a mother. Having met you & Lil I can see how good you are for each other and yes, how happy she is. This is an amazing blog but I can totally understand your reasons for having a break. I'm truly sorry to hear about you & Tim and hope that whatever happens, you're all happy. Much love xx

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    1. Thank you Lydia, lots of love xxxxx

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  5. I'm going to miss your posts. As a mother to be I found it refreshing to hear you talk about the tougher times with honesty and humour.

    And as for being a bad mother, that has never come across. Not. Once.
    I've lost count of the amount of times you've commented on how much you love that girl, cooed over her gorgeousness and the like. You're not a bad mother for finding it tough at times..that's just BEING A MOTHER.

    Try not to focus on the comment from this clearly stupid person. It sounds as though it was said to hurt you rather than being based on any kind of truth. In which case it says a damned sight more about them than it does about you.

    As for things between you and your bloke, I hope outsiders such as this person can draw their neck in and appreciate that it is no one's business, but yours and his. And keep unhelpful and hateful comments like this to themselves in future.
    *Hugs*

    Kim xx

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    1. Thanks Kim! I look forward to reading your posts on Motherhood! xxxx

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  6. I am so sad and angry for you. I have LOVED reading your blog and found it so refreshing. When it comes to teething and whinging babies, we all feel the same. You've done exactly what you've said in the title 'only saying what you're thinking'. Thank God one of us had the guts to say it, is all I can say.
    I suspect this dickhead hasn't got children which is why you need to take her comments and throw them back at her if she/he ever has kids of her own. I hope you'll be hanging around twitter? Keep sharing pictures of your HAPPY HEALTHY daughter.

    Big hugs xxx

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    1. Haha, this made me smile! Thank you for your kind words xxx

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  7. If you hadn't written this blog, we'd never have met! :( Sad you feel you have to do this, but I trust your motherly instinct (backed up firmly by your demonstrated care and love of Lil on this blog) so if you feel you should, then you should xx

    South Molton St Style

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    1. I KNOW!!!! Thanks Anna, you've been a great support xxx

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  8. Such a shame! You have kept me sane throughout my pregnancy (im now in the last few weeks!). Its been so nice reading a blog that isnt full of shit, but open and honest about bring a mum. Thank you, you have taught me a lot. I hope things work out for you, with your personality you cant fail. Kelly xx

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    1. Ah I'm so pleased I've taught you something! I hope you have a peaceful birth. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you want to know anything and thank you for your kind words xxx

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  9. Hi Charlotte, i've been reading for a while but not sure i commented before. anyway i just wanted to say that it is a real shame you won't be blogging for a while. your blog is the most honest i've found. even i can admit mine is not as honest as yours...i wish i could post like you do. everything you've said i agree with. you've never once posted something where i've thought...hang on 'bad mother' alert! everything is truthful. and boy is it OH SO VERY true!
    being a mother is great but motherhood. well that is fecking hard. i can see you love lil. your blog shows that...i think that is amazing, with all the hard stuff it proves that love fights through it all. the more honest you are the more other mums feel they have support.
    if you look at your labels on the right of your blog. the word 'love' is the biggest. what you've posted more about than anything else. screw the judgers. ESPECIALLY if they have no experience. NOTHING can prepare you for how hard it is.
    I hope you and your husband work things out - whatever that might be. Again i know what that is like...but just can't write it sometimes. Wishes you love and luck.
    Look forward to hopefully seeing what you get up to on IG.
    Sarah xxx
    http://sarahillustrator.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hi Sarah, thank you so much for leaving a comment. What you said about the labels on my blog made me grin, I've never thought about it that way before. Such kind words and it's really cheered me up. Lots of love xxx

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  10. I'm behind on my blog reading and I've only just come across this post. I love your blog and your honesty in it! I hate all the 'faffy' mothers out there that try to make out everything is perfect makes me think if they are trying to persuade them self more than everyone else? And as you said this person doesn't have experience it's even more a kick in the teeth. I know how infuriating this can be, I've been through it myself... yeah they know how to be the 'perfect mother' give them a screaming toddler and they wont last the day.

    As for the stuff with your other half, I'm really sorry to hear about that and I hope it works out for the best. The fact that you have said that you would never stop him from seeing Lil proves that you are a good mother by thinking about Lil's needs first. I know so many people that have turned their child against their dads because of their own personal issues. I hope that people will stop interfering and just let you get on with being a great mum, because you really are. x x

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