I'm just tired.

About three weeks ago, I discovered that Lil had a full set of teeth. I screamed and danced and picked her up and spun her around and phoned everyone to tell them. She'd been teething since she was eight weeks old (yes it is possible, don't try and pick an argument with me over this) and boy what a nightmare we'd had (by we I mean Lil and I). The poor kid has really suffered and in turn so had my liver. But those days are over (the teething not the liver bashing) and I'm more than elated to never have to deal with teething again. Goodbye to tiredness too, right? No more wake ups means more sleep for mumma.


I'm so tired. I'm anaemic and I'm taking iron for it so it figures that I'm tired but I'm just tired. Up in the night tired. My kid has started having night terrors again tired. I'm the one who sees to her in the night tired. I'm tired, ok?

Kids are hard work, you all know that. And even when they can fend for themselves and occupy themselves they are still fucking exhausting. They talk back and argue with you and ask why why why? Naively I thought that around this age it would so much easier but it's not and I'm tired. In 2 years and 9 months I've had four nights off. That's however many days on call for 24 hours. OVER 12000 days.

And the tiredness is making me crazy. If Lil's dad sighs, I automatically take that as him sighing because he's tired and who the fuck does he think he is being tired, he doesn't know what tired is. And my Dad yawns and I'm like get the hell out of my house you don't know what tired feels like. And my sister yawns and I go heavy night was it? I'll show you a heavy night.

It's making me hateful.

Really, Lil is a dream with her sleeping. She goes to bed at 8pm (on a good night) and wakes up between 7:30 and 8. I'm lucky, I know. And some of you are shaking your head and thinking I don't know what tired is BUT I DO. When I wake up six or seven times in the night to see to her those 12 hours account for sweet FA. And I'm rarely in bed before 11 (either because of chores or not being able to get up from the sofa or, more recently, WERK) and it takes a good hour for my brain to switch off. So I don't get 12 hours sleep. Try six and a half of broken sleep. I'm tired.

Exercise, fresh air, vitamins and coffee. Most days it works but on days like today when nothing works, I'm beside myself.



  1. ok this isn't going to be well received and feel free to grind your teeth and put a strange voodoo curse on me BUT stop drinking. It might seem like the only thing that is helping but it's not. It makes what little sleep you do get low quality.
    also why the flying fuck hasn't Lils Dad done night duty more than 4 nights? Seriously? If you need to check into a cheap hotel room leaving them at home then DO IT. You deserve sleep, you are worth sleep, you NEED sleep.
    Of course both those things are long term solutions, they are not going to help in the next hour or 2 when you want to sob with tiredness. For those I haven't any help, I am so sorry. I am not going to tell you it gets better because each child is different, what you do need is better mechanisms for dealing with it. That means no alcohol and more support from your husband. (or will your sis do a nighttime shift for you?)

  2. Urgh sympathy, my boys sleep ok but i takes ages to drop off and often wake up early regardless!
    What does Lil wake up for, just a cuddle? x

  3. Remember there are (a lot of) other people in the same boat. You're not alone!! My oldest is 6 and a half now and has only just started to sleep through regularly! I have another who is 3 and a half and is a much better sleeper. (Saying that, I was lying on his floor from 2-3 am this morning!) Just be kind to yourself. Don't try to do too much. The jobs/chores can wait! Go to bed early! And plan to do something for You! Treat yourself...whether it's a magazine or a nail varnish or a bunch of flowers. They say 'happy Mummy=happy babby' so do something to make you happy xx