On Pirates and Power Rangers.

Just recently, Lil has shown an interest in pirates (my Dad fought one once - oh yeah, true story bro). This pleases me greatly because I like a pirates (not actual real baddy ones, just ones like Captain Jack Sparrow).

We are currently in the process of collecting enough cardboard boxes to build a pirate ship for her to play in. I thought about making a hat and a parrot and a cutlass but I ended up turning to Amazon - good ol' internet.

I uhmmed and ahhed for about four hours over whether on not to buy her a cutlass. It appears to be harder these days to buy things like swords and guns (toy ones) in shops. We searched high and low in Wilko's, the pound shop, Sainsbury's etc. Nada. And then it got me thinking (I'm fully aware I'm not Carrie Bradshaw), is it because of all the violence that goes on these days that we can't just pop to the shop to buy a cutlass?

I think sometimes we all just need to calm the fuck down.

When I was a kid (here we go), that shit just didn't phase anyone. My brother had (toy) guns and swords galore. Power Rangers were in and we used to fight each other all the time (I'm also aware there is a five year age gap between my brother and I but sometimes when you're ten, boyband lusting and skipping ropes get dull... pretending to stab your annoying baby brother is way more fun and there was totally no malice involved... LIE). We didn't grow up to be psycho murderers and the like.



The other day, Lil was watching old school Looney Tunes and there was violence in one scene. 'Oh blimey,' Lil's Dad said, 'Do you think we should switch it over?'. ER....WHY? Because she might hunt down some dynamite to shove up our arses when we're asleep and set light to it? Nah. Let the kid watch it. The world has gone mad.

Anyway, back to pirates. I ordered the cutlass and I think there was a pistol in the pirate kit too. I'm just gonna let my kid enjoy being a pirate and (pretend to) shoot the dog. She can sail the seven seas as much as she likes and fight other pirates (her Dad) with her cutlass, it doesn't mean she's violent.

Let kids be kids and enjoy their childhood. Cutlasses, pistols and all...

A reminder.


Filling in the spaces.

My stay in teething hell has meant I haven't had the energy to write about shit. Not actual shit, stuff we've been up to. So I thought I'd fill in the spaces with pictures.

Spiky penis plant - gardening is the new black

Stylin' her WMM dunga's

I'm the mother at making Mojito's

Early morning sunshine has meant we get our shit together and are out the house by nine thirty. Go us.

Mother / daughter coffee date

Playing outdoors - this one is definitely an outdoor baby

MM Post

MM Swag - It isn't as bad as you think. Except for when they throw a tantrum and then throw up.

Skateboard painting with the amazing Indikidual

Cooking is like therapy for me - Sweet potato, red lentil and spinach dahl

A rare picture of Lil's parents

A spontaneous dinner opposite Canary Wharf

Sick

YOLO.

As I sit here at the kitchen table, coughing and sneezing (THANKS LIL), I feel anxious. Lil is drawing a picture and feels the needs to colour over the stickers she just stuck down... 'Lil NO NOT ON THE STICKERS'. I get a dirty look. A similar scenario to when she mixes the Play Doh colours up. I mean, that shit just isn't on. And then at the weekend, she got covered in paint. As I watched in horror, her Dad shouted across 'It WILL wash out, don't worry'. It did wash out.



I guess I'm trying to give you examples of how... highly strung I am? How I can't just let her get messy and fuck the Play Doh colours up. It hurts my brain. And I'm sure I'm not the only parent who's like this. DON'T JUMP IN THE PUDDLE, GET AWAY FROM THE MUD, DON'T TOUCH THE ANTS.

God. I'm sick of it. It's exhausting. My Mum never gave a shit if I got paint down me, so why am I so bothered? I need to chill out. So I've decided that from today, she can get as messy as she likes. I'm over stressing about stupid kid things, she's exactly that... a kid. Kids get messy and find it satisfying to mix colours and get mud all down them. You only live once, so I'm going to join in and get messy too.

Here's to mess, ants, mud and letting her be free to express herself...