According to Lil. Fun at Kent Life.
Fucking up the kids.
For a while now, I've been thinking about this. Whether or not to write about it for fear of upsetting my parents. I'm just going to go with what the counsellors / shrinks / child psychologists told me.... if writing about it helps, do it (please don't think I'm being dramatic, I'm only telling you how it was...how it is).
When I was around 18 months old, my parent split up and eventually divorced. The details are hazy, naturally one parent denies what the other parent has accused. The norm, it would appear.
I'm not going to deny the fact that I watch Emmerdale (stay with me). I've been a fan of the soap for a long time but I became obsessed with it around the same time I fell in the love with the countryside (age 16) and even more so when I fell in love with a Northerner (age 21). It was Emmerdale that made me think about fucking my daughter up more than before.
For those of you who don't watch it (shame on YOU), Marlon got Rhona pregnant and then she fell in love with his best friend. Marlon forgave and they were one big happy family until Rhona and her partner decided to move to New Zealand (work) and then Marlon decided that wasn't on, they were moving half way across the world with his son, come on...and now it's got nasty. It's about to go through the courts.
It was then that I started having flashbacks.
My custody got dragged through the courts. Again, the details are hazy but I remember a lot from it. Both parents slagged each other off to me. Called the other parent nasty names and ran each other to the ground. It wasn't nice. In fact, looking back it was vile.
Neither parent was innocent. I guess you could say neither parent is innocent. I've stumbled through life not giving it a second thought really. People fuck up all the time. Marriages end. You deal with it.
And then I had Lil.
I can't deny my marriage hasn't been easy. In fact, it's been pretty fucking hard. Do I wish things were different? Yes. Do I think things will get better? I really don't know. Do I want Lil to go through what I did? What my siblings did? No, I don't. I will fight to the end to ensure she has a stable andnormal as-normal-as-can-be childhood.
What I really don't want is to fuck my daughter up.
I know so many people who's lives have been screwed up thanks to their parents. Not intentionally. But it just happened. Dear friends who I love. LOVE.
Having a child has made me realise how easy it is to screw someones life up. It only takes a split second. One second. So I hope, whatever the future holds for me I'll go about it with the grace that my parents never did. With the grace that so many of my friends parents never did.
I'm not saying you should stay with someone for the sake of your child's happiness. No. That would be wrong. But whatever decisions you make in the future, be sure to handle them with the grace you would expect for yourselves.
Life is pretty fucking hard anyway. But when there's a child involved, it gets a whole lot harder.
When I was around 18 months old, my parent split up and eventually divorced. The details are hazy, naturally one parent denies what the other parent has accused. The norm, it would appear.
I'm not going to deny the fact that I watch Emmerdale (stay with me). I've been a fan of the soap for a long time but I became obsessed with it around the same time I fell in the love with the countryside (age 16) and even more so when I fell in love with a Northerner (age 21). It was Emmerdale that made me think about fucking my daughter up more than before.
For those of you who don't watch it (shame on YOU), Marlon got Rhona pregnant and then she fell in love with his best friend. Marlon forgave and they were one big happy family until Rhona and her partner decided to move to New Zealand (work) and then Marlon decided that wasn't on, they were moving half way across the world with his son, come on...and now it's got nasty. It's about to go through the courts.
It was then that I started having flashbacks.
My custody got dragged through the courts. Again, the details are hazy but I remember a lot from it. Both parents slagged each other off to me. Called the other parent nasty names and ran each other to the ground. It wasn't nice. In fact, looking back it was vile.
Neither parent was innocent. I guess you could say neither parent is innocent. I've stumbled through life not giving it a second thought really. People fuck up all the time. Marriages end. You deal with it.
And then I had Lil.
I can't deny my marriage hasn't been easy. In fact, it's been pretty fucking hard. Do I wish things were different? Yes. Do I think things will get better? I really don't know. Do I want Lil to go through what I did? What my siblings did? No, I don't. I will fight to the end to ensure she has a stable and
What I really don't want is to fuck my daughter up.
I know so many people who's lives have been screwed up thanks to their parents. Not intentionally. But it just happened. Dear friends who I love. LOVE.
Having a child has made me realise how easy it is to screw someones life up. It only takes a split second. One second. So I hope, whatever the future holds for me I'll go about it with the grace that my parents never did. With the grace that so many of my friends parents never did.
I'm not saying you should stay with someone for the sake of your child's happiness. No. That would be wrong. But whatever decisions you make in the future, be sure to handle them with the grace you would expect for yourselves.
Life is pretty fucking hard anyway. But when there's a child involved, it gets a whole lot harder.
Eating or lack of.
After reading this post by Sarah, I decided to write about Lil's eating habits as they're starting to worry me so any advice would be gratefully received.
She picks at her breakfast and will have a mid morning snack, usually a banana which she'll eat. She isn't the slightest bit interested in lunch, whatever I make her, however yummy, she turns her nose up at it and will only pick at some rice crackers or Organix tomato snacks. Dinner, she'll eat (most of the time). It nearly always consists of some type of pasta dish with vegetables (filled pasta or veggie lasagne) or fish.
This week, however, I've decided things really need to change. Not only is it frustrating, after freshly preparing her meals only for her to throw her plate off the table or feed the dog her meal, I'm worried she isn't getting the nutrients she needs.
Is it because she's suffering so badly with her teeth? Could this be why she's off her food? I remember, before she got ill on her birthday, that she used to eat every meal and more. She really loved her food and it made me so happy to see her eat well. But now it's all changed and it's started to upset me. Could it be a (long) phase she's going through? I hope, whatever it is, she snaps out of it soon.
Meanwhile, I've started writing up meal plans for the week so I can prepare some meals in advance and know everyday what we're going to eat. Overly organised? Maybe, but I feel like I need a little more structure to meal times.
This week we'll be eating:
Fruit Burst Muffins
Bran flake Pancakes
Mushroom and Chickpea Burgers
Chicken and Spinach Spaghetti
Fish and Chips
Chickpea Patties
Do you have any great recipes we could try? Any lunch ideas are welcome too.
Let's see how we get on. Wish me lots of patience.
She picks at her breakfast and will have a mid morning snack, usually a banana which she'll eat. She isn't the slightest bit interested in lunch, whatever I make her, however yummy, she turns her nose up at it and will only pick at some rice crackers or Organix tomato snacks. Dinner, she'll eat (most of the time). It nearly always consists of some type of pasta dish with vegetables (filled pasta or veggie lasagne) or fish.
This week, however, I've decided things really need to change. Not only is it frustrating, after freshly preparing her meals only for her to throw her plate off the table or feed the dog her meal, I'm worried she isn't getting the nutrients she needs.
Is it because she's suffering so badly with her teeth? Could this be why she's off her food? I remember, before she got ill on her birthday, that she used to eat every meal and more. She really loved her food and it made me so happy to see her eat well. But now it's all changed and it's started to upset me. Could it be a (long) phase she's going through? I hope, whatever it is, she snaps out of it soon.
Meanwhile, I've started writing up meal plans for the week so I can prepare some meals in advance and know everyday what we're going to eat. Overly organised? Maybe, but I feel like I need a little more structure to meal times.
This week we'll be eating:
Fruit Burst Muffins
Bran flake Pancakes
Mushroom and Chickpea Burgers
Chicken and Spinach Spaghetti
Fish and Chips
Chickpea Patties
Do you have any great recipes we could try? Any lunch ideas are welcome too.
Let's see how we get on. Wish me lots of patience.
The one where I torture myself.
So after reading a bit about '30 Day Shred' and with an impending trip to Ibiza only three weeks away, I decided I needed to sort my life out. My body is definitely not bikini ready and wobbles more than jelly and ice cream (mmmmmm), so I thought it was time for shit to get real.
Shit just got real.
I'm currently on Day 2 of Level One and my body is a mess. A complete and utter wreck. It hurts to pick Lil up, like really hurts. I ache like a son of a bitch and I'm dreading tomorrow. If you want to give this a go, I warn you.... DO NOT scoff at the fact each workout is twenty minutes long and DO NOT think it will be easy. This woman will fuck you up after just one session.
I've taken a photo of my body on day one and I'm hoping, praying that by day 21 I'll be ready for the beach but we'll see.
Stay tuned.... if I don't throw myself off of a bridge in agony.
Shit just got real.
I'm currently on Day 2 of Level One and my body is a mess. A complete and utter wreck. It hurts to pick Lil up, like really hurts. I ache like a son of a bitch and I'm dreading tomorrow. If you want to give this a go, I warn you.... DO NOT scoff at the fact each workout is twenty minutes long and DO NOT think it will be easy. This woman will fuck you up after just one session.
I've taken a photo of my body on day one and I'm hoping, praying that by day 21 I'll be ready for the beach but we'll see.
Stay tuned.... if I don't throw myself off of a bridge in agony.
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