I see you, down there on the left. It's you that has been making my life hell for the past few weeks, huh? All white and sharp like you don't give a damn. You're the reason she won't go to anyone else but me, screams uncontrollably when I'm paying for something at the check out and has poo that's as fluid as the wine the I neck every night after a day of teething tantrums.
Well it's nice of you to finally think about making an appearance. So when are you going to show yourself in your full glory? Because I'm telling you now, you're hurting my little baby and I don't take too kindly to that. Especially not when, in turn, she's hurting me. Smacking me in the face, screaming in my ear and insisting I carry her everywhere so my muscles ache every night when I get in to bed.
Sort it out. I haven't got enough bibs to deal with your shit.
The skirt that isn't a 'Mummy skirt'.
Today I bought a new skirt. I showed my Mum and was met with 'should you be wearing that? You're a Mum now.'
Well.
When I was three, and I remember this clearly, she wore a lime green bodycon skirt that was shorter than the one I got today. She also had zebra print clothes, leopard print clothes, neon clothes, short skirts, crop tops and skinny jeans. All of this I shall remind her of when I speak to her later (hello Mum, I know you read this YOU HYPOCRITE LOLZ). If I can find the photos of her in these clothes I will scan them and post on here just to embarrass her.
What I'm getting at is, just because you're a Mum it doesn't mean you have to cover yourself up from head to toe. I still wear short dresses and skirts (with tights - my cellulite wont let me wear them bare). Sometimes I flash a bit of cleavage - it makes me feel sexy and reminds me that even though I'm a Mum I'm still a person and I can still be fashionable.
I don't have to be a frump, my Mum most definitely wasn't.
Skirt from Topshop. Buy it here.
Lilian & Mr Monkeybum's first trip to the farm.
Today we went to Old McDonald's Farm in Brentwood. Lilian wasn't really bothered by the animals, she was more interested in trying to eat the fence but it was a good day out.
Excuse the monkey's rear.
God Bless America.
Unfortunately the cow wasn't for sale.
Eeyore.
Crashed out in the car.
Stay tuned for Lilian and Monkeybum's next adventure.
Happy Sunday evening xo
Excuse the monkey's rear.
God Bless America.
Unfortunately the cow wasn't for sale.
Eeyore.
Crashed out in the car.
Stay tuned for Lilian and Monkeybum's next adventure.
Happy Sunday evening xo
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