Today I saw pictures of myself that sent me into a fit of depression. The photos from my baby shower. I look like an albino hippo. I'm horrified.
I've never really dieted and if I have I've never made a point of it. I don't encourage it and I especially never call myself fat. Having three younger sisters, I have always spoken positively about my body and have never moaned about the odd bulge or roll, only embraced it. I believe that through eating sensibly (in my head that's eating one chocolate cupcake, not two) and exercise (walking) you can be happy with what you've got.
Throughout my pregnancy I haven't really been unhappy with how I look (Ok that's a lie, I'm mortified at how pale I am), I've let my body do it's own thing and I've eaten what I wanted when I wanted it and have gained weight steadily. Yes, I'm at my heaviest but I know that's because I have a lump inside me and that her cosy little bubble weighs a bit too. What's terrified me is the lack of control I have had over my body.
I pull the strings normally, I can control my weight at the flick of a button (although it isn't normally about how much I weigh, it's often about how I feel) and I choose how I look. So pregnancy has been really hard for me (if you hadn't already guessed), I've had to learn to trust that bitch Mother Nature. Before I found out I was pregnant, I had a tan and I was comfortable with my body. I wore clothes that flattered my figure and I was happy. Men looked at me and smiled and, I won't lie, it made me feel better about myself.
Sue me for being shallow but I cannot wait to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, bronze my skin and dress to suit my figure, not the huge lump that I'm currently carrying. Yes pregnancy is a blessing, but it does nothing for your figure (unless you want huge boobs and piles)...
