Week 28

When people ask me how I feel now, I just say 'fine'. Mainly because I can't be bothered to reel off the list of dramas going down with my body. Really, though, there is nothing fine about how I feel so I'm going to bitch about it here. It's what this blog is for, anyway.

Shall we start from the head and work down? Ok, good idea. Well there isn't much to report on that area of my body at the moment but I'm having mental heartburn which is mainly brought on by chocolate. Steering clear of chocolate right now is not easy. Some days I think 'ah fuck it' and just ram a bounty down my throat but the consequences are not pleasant. What does help the heartburn though is pickled onions. Oink.

Leaky boobs, yo. Sexy, sexy leaky boobies. There isn't much else to say about my melons other than they are HUGE and veiny. And leaky. I ooze sex right now don't I?

The baby is all up in my grill (ribs) all the time. I lose count of how many times I catch my breath when this kid decides to kick me straight up in the bones. And ribache is a joke, bras are my hell.

My pelvis is crunching (crumching, crunch, crunchie...mmmmm CRUNCHIE bars) like a mother every time I move, my hips ache, my lower back hurts real baaaaaaaad. SPD isn't the most fun thing in the world, I forgot just how unfun it is. Shoulda just read my blog back from the start before I decided to have another bebe init. Bit late now.

Let's not talk about piles. Or constipation. Or leaky wee valves.

I have restless legs and they cramp at night. Varicose veins are taking over my life. My ankles swell.

And I rage. I rage and rage and rage like hurricane Charlotte (has there been one of those yet?). But I'm happy, happy that I only have 12 weeks left (I will not be going over 40 weeks), excited to meet this little monster who leaves my insides bruised... I'm fine.

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