Working hard.

I'm pretty much raging today. It all began with a message from someone yesterday morning, singing my husbands praises because he WORKS SO HARD. Yes, I know he does. We used to work together and I'm married to him. I know. He recently won an award in his industry which was a long time coming and he deserved the award and all the recognition for his hard work. I'm proud of him. If he didn't work hard, we wouldn't be able to live in this nice house and have nice things. HE WORKS HARD, OK? 

Glad we've established that.

Anyway, like I said... raging. I got back from the gym last night to a sink full of washing up. Here's something you don't know about me: I cannot start cooking if the sink is full of dirty dishes. I cant do it. I thought perhaps once I got back from the gym, the sink would be empty. Seeings as I was going to cook dinner on my return. I thought wrong. I was annoyed. You could have done the washing up while I was out. I had Lil. When I have Lil, do you think the fucking cleaner comes round and does it all? Or even better, the fairies (we dont have a cleaner by the way)???? It wasn't important. I was going to do it once she was in bed. She is in bed now and you still haven't done it!!!!!

I know it's petty. And that spending time with his daughter is more important than chores. But I manage to do both e v e r y  s i n g l e  d a y. I don't ask you to do the housework, he muttered. YOU FUCKING WHAT? And on it went until I went to bed in an almighty rage and woke up in a rage and am still raging.

I am a Mum who stays at home to look after our child. I am also a Mum who keeps this house clean and (sometimes) tidy, who meal plans and cooks and ploughs through sometimes three loads of washing a day as well as irons things that need ironing. And guess what else... I'm starting up my own business. And, most importantly, I spend time with our daughter. Raising her, teaching her how to write letters and numbers, reading with her. And I still do the fucking washing up when it needs doing. And I get no recognition for my hard work. No awards. My daughter can't say the fucking alphabet because her Nanny taught her (she doesn't have a Nanny) and she didn't write some of her alphabet because Squiglet came round on her tea break to show her how to write e and r and v. That was all me.

Nobody says to me, oh Charlotte you are doing a wonderful job. She is such a credit to you, you're a brilliant Mum. You work so hard (except my Nan, she always says that). I'm not bitter, far from it. I'm just annoyed that apparently, if you don't earn a salary then you aren't hard working. And I think that's unfair. So, people who earn salaries... don't forget us Mums and Dads who stay at home to look after our children. Just because we don't go out to work, does not mean we don't work hard. Far from it, in fact. 

Actually, I'm going to make a bold statement and say we work harder.

4 comments:

  1. I read this with a big fat glass of wine in my hand this evening and after nodding so hard i thought my head was going to fall off, i simply started singing 'Hey Ya' by outcast. I don't really understand why that was my reaction, but i think it means " I HEAR YOU!!!!!!"

    So, thank you for that because at the moment, i really need this virtual pat on the back.

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  2. I think about this a lot. And blame capitalism a lot. If we didn't put so much damn value on earning money we might be able to see the value of other types of work like caring for people. Which is basically what being a stay at home parent entails. Caring (oh and cleaning, cooking, shopping etc). it's difficult when it causes arguments between couples which it does in my house too and just about every one where small people live too I'd wager.

    I think small change has to start with other mums recognising how valuable caring for other humans is. So here goes:

    Charlotte you are doing a fabulous job raising your daughter to be the beautiful sweet child she is already, looking after a house with all that entails, caring for your husband's needs and trying to find the time to nurture your own, all within 24 hours. Your daughter won't get it (until she's a mum at least), your husband won't (unless he ever becomes the stay at home parent), the government will only care about you when you start making money. But I get it. You get it. And every other mother world wide gets it. That's a lot of support :)

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