As I have a large family and because my parents divorced when I was a toddler, Christmases have been difficult. Well as a kid, anyway. My Mum and Dad both wanted to spend Christmas day with me but it was impossible and someone was always going to be upset. Disappointed. Christ knows how many times I've heard that word...
I still find myself trying to please everyone and this became even more apparent when Lil's first birthday was approaching. Everyone wanted to spend the day with her, my family and her Dad's family. It didn't matter that she was our daughter and that maybe we wanted to spend the day as just the three of us. Spending the day with both families would be a nightmare and I'm speaking from experience! I don't want her birthday to be a stressful day. But I totally got why they wanted in on it, she's pretty amazing. The same goes for Christmas, we are always going to upset someone. Always. But now I realise, I have a child and all that matters is her happiness.
Poorly bubs - get better! I want my little joker back.
Cancelling her second birthday party (she's unwell) has caused tension and no doubt has sent my blood pressure through the roof. It was going to be two hours of both families together. I won't lie and say I was looking forward to it but we were doing it for her. Anyway. People are disappointed. I'm upset that she'll be sick on her second birthday because her 1st birthday was a bit of a disaster too. It can't be helped she isn't sick on purpose. She's a toddler and she'll pick up any bug going. And do you know what? I don't care who it disappoints. I don't care that in the future, someone will be disappointed with the decisions we make. I don't care because I have my own little family now and they are all that matters. As long as my daughter has a smile on her face, nothing else matters. I'm going to stop being a people pleaser and ensure that I please my family. Because they're the important ones.
With you on this one. I have lost count on the number of times I have had to pick myself up after going crazy trying to please everyone but those who really mattered. Get well soon lil Bach. X
ReplyDeletePoor little mite, I hope she gets well soon. And you are SO right, your family of three is the one that matters now; the others will have to fall into line - behind. Even if you love them too, it's OK that that's how it should be.
ReplyDeleteOn my first daughter's 1st birthday we told my father in law that we wanted it to be just the 3 of us and STILL he turned up uninvited, then insulted my husband and caused a row. It was bloody awful. We ended up pretending it was her birthday again the next day just to get a better shot at it.
I'm a people pleaser too but I'm learning :D
Best wishes and I hope your little one gets a good birthday celebration with you before too long x
Bad luck to them and their "disappointment" what a selfish passive aggressive thing to say to you. A good grandparent would just be sad that their grandchild was sick on their birthday.
ReplyDeleteI was a people pleaser too but am getting much stronger and not putting up with (most) people's rubbish.
I hope Lil is better soon and has a lovely happy birthday with just the three of you.
I think the most important thing you can ever learn as a parent is to put your child absolutely first in every situation. Whether you want to, or whether others want you to or not. It's hard, but I think you've made absolutely the right decision. Let others be disappointed. If they are anything other than disappointed for Lil being poorly on her birthday they are being selfish.
ReplyDeletePoor love, I hope she's on the mend soon..
Kate x
Just Pirouette and Carry On...