A perfect time.

The week before last I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown. That isn't an exaggeration, it's a fact. Lil's illness almost pushed me over the edge and I think I was pretty close anyway. That bastard black hole opened up again and I felt I was losing control.Anyway, It was perfect timing then that we had a break planned and it was pretty lucky that Lil had recovered by then.

So we effed off to the countryside for a week, Barlow in Derbyshire to be exact. And sweet Jesus was it a welcome relief.

Our Neigh-bour. Sorry.

Our back garden.

Sarah and duck QUACK - Lil is PETRIFIED of ducks

This kid got her appetite BACK

Excited about her first time on a steam train. Lasted three minutes.

We had such a lovely time, I haven't seen Lil as happy as she was this past week. And I haven't felt as happy as I was on this trip, not in a long time. Instant relief washed over me as soon as we arrived and I felt as though I was a million miles away from any drama or negativity. And I didn't feel anxious, not once. Ok that's a lie. But my only anxiety was about the massive fucking spiders I kept seeing in the cottage. Other than that though, I had a perfect time in my perfect place. And now I'm not there anymore? I can feel my heart pounding inside my chest and a huge sense of dread. So now what? Well, I guess you should watch this space...