The one where I get sacked off for a boy.

Today was a big day in our house: Lil started nursery. I say nursery, it's actually the childminders (there's three of them) but with a nursery setting. So we'll call it nursery to save confusion. It was also a massive day for my emotions (I'm silently weeping at I type this). Having a baby certainly effs you up and emotions, for me, is the main area in which it all seems to have gone to pot (just ask my husband).

Where did my baby go?

We dropped her off at 8am and off she went, shouting 'BOYS' as soon as she'd spotted one (where she's got this from, I don't know....), pausing briefly to kiss me goodbye. WAS THAT IT? I'd built this day up for the past nineteen months, had anxiety attacks (so much drama), sleepless nights... and she just sacks me off for a boy? What about BRO'S BEFORE HO'S? So I skulked off, trying to not let my husband see my tears ('Just fucking stop talking about it and drive') and that was it. Done.

So now I'm sitting here, cold and miserable, watching the clock with my phone in my hand. Waiting. Waiting for a call to tell me she hates it and simply cannot bear to be apart from me. Begging me not to start this degree because she NEEDS me, everyday.

I've got a feeling I'll be waiting a long time...