When I was pregnant, I bought that Super Nanny's book on how to handle your newborn (or whatever it's called). Three pages in, I threw it in a box somewhere in the garage. It wasn't for me. I'm all for a good self-help book but nobody was going to tell me how to handle my baby, voluntarily or otherwise. Anyway, it was supposed to come naturally.
It did, all bar a few things but those things I figured out thanks to my Mum and Nan and, of course, Twitter.
So I just got on with it, trusted my gut and did what I thought was right. I really, truly believe there is no wrong way and any decision any Mother makes I know is based on what she believes. Everyone has their different ways and methods and I respect those.
I'd heard of attachment parenting but never looked it up, like most fads and phases I hear about. It wasn't until a comment on Twitter about these methods popped up that I decided to investigate and was surprised to find that I'd been practising (some of) it since day one. I was amazed at how much I agreed with the theories and practices and was pleased that I'd found my way on my own but had been running alongside some of these methods.
When I googled it, this is the first site I came across. A lot of it I agree with, some of it is a bit (in the words of my Nan) wishy washy.
I won't go in to detail about my ways of parenting Lil because I'm not preaching. But this is our sleeping arrangement: Lil still sleeps in my room, for many reasons. My first two reasons are completely selfish: because I want to have her near and because when she's teething (97% of the time), she wakes quite a lot in the night and to get up and walk across the hall to soothe her is a pain. And I do soothe her, sometimes I wish maybe I'd read about self-soothing and put it in to practice but I didn't and I'm sticking to what I know and feel is right for her. Most of the time she sleeps in her cot but when she's sick or having a bad night due to teething then it's 'Mummy bed' and in she comes.
Growing up, I shared a bed with my Mum for a while. My parents split when I was eighteen months old and we moved in to my Nan's. I had my own room but for me it was just to play in. My Mum's bed is where I felt safe and comforted and I think this is another reason why I'm happy to have Lil in the room with me.
To be honest, I'd let her share my room with me until she left home but we all know that won't happen. BFF's, YEAH! Hmm, maybe not.
I do want to move her in to her own room, I dread it but I know she'll love it. After a while. It's something we've been talking about and finally, planning (baby steps for me). I'm hoping it's a smooth and gentle transition for her (obviously I'll need a lot of self-soothing in the form of wine) and one that can be done before Christmas. Ambitious? You tell me.
Do you practice attached parenting? Do you let your child self-soothe? How old were they when you moved them in to their own room? Am I crazy?
I'm definitely attached.
We moved Amelie at 6 months into her own room partly because she's a light sleeper and I couldn't sleep with white noise and was kind of sick of whispering. She sleeps better on her own and doesn't settle so well in our bed. Which kind of makes me sad. She's already fiercely independent and I wish she was a little more clingy! You can't win as a mother really.
ReplyDeleteMy first son is a noisy sleeper so he got his own room from very early on. There was a lot of walking I had to do at nights :| My second son is a quiet sleeper and has pretty much slept in our bed on and off for his entire 4 years of life. This summer he slept in his bed every night but now that it's a bit chilly at night he comes to ours after he's been to the loo, anytime btw 12 and 3.
ReplyDeleteHa! I bought 'The Baby Whisperer' before Pip was born and ditched it a few days later.
ReplyDeletePip was just over three months when she went into her nursery, but that was after she grew too big for the bassinet and fell out of it - opps! Co-sleeping wasn't an option for us due to a lack of space so we didn't really have a choice. She couldn't have been less fussed though and started sleeping through not long after. Well, for a while anyway. ;)
I don't think you're crazy at all hun. One thing I've learnt since having Pip is that every child is different so it would be crazy to have a one size fits all method of parenting. And no one knows what's best for a child better than it's mother.
Instinct is my preferred parenting method and you don't need any books for that. ;)
Agree with Josie. It's all about gut I think. I wish I was more like you though, I think I'm quite a nasty mum. x
ReplyDeleteWe moved theo when he was about 15 months just as a trial, and even though I would end up sleeping in the room with him (because he was on a bed not in a cot) it went pretty well. He seemed to not get disturbed by us and therefore started sleeping for longer stretches. When I was still breast feeding he used to come back in our bed about 6am for a feed then go back to sleep with me for another few hours, which was nice to have a cuddle! Now that I've stopped bf he still comes in in the morning for a cuddle, but doesn't go back to sleep. I have to say I really need those morning cuddles, because after a year and a half of cosleeping, I miss his little bod next to mine!
ReplyDeleteBut good luck with it, I think if you are worried then maybe treat it as a trial and something you can always go back on, I doesn't have to be permanent!
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