Babies.

I love Lilian. I love her to death.

I don't, however, love her tantrums and her screaming and her scratching and her baby sick all down my nice new swimming costume. I don't like how I can't just do things on a whim anymore because she needs her dinner or her stinky butt changing.

In short: babies suck.

After reading Caitlin Moran's 'How To Be A Woman' I feel I can be honest with you all about my feelings towards having a baby.

Like I said, I love the kid to death. But if I was to be born all over again and grow up and be me I'd not have a baby (just let me stress here - I WOULD NOT CHANGE LIL FOR THE WORLD NOT EVEN A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF CHANEL). I'm too selfish. I realise that now, sitting in the shade with the baby, giving stares of death to everyone sunbathing or splashing about in the pool. I want to be getting tanned or off my (somewhat droopy) tits on sangria. But I have responsibilities now, no more whimsical little me.

But on the plus side (I guess), in 5 years time when she can just sod off to the hotel kids club I can just sod off to the bar and get (semi) sloshed on sangria.

Swings and roundabouts.