Just as I thought...

After a successful afternoon of disinfecting my Mum's kitchen (for if I disinfect mine any more I shall have nothing left) and eating cake, we went to see the midwife.

I was expecting to see my midwife Heather but instead got Emma. To look at, you'd think Emma was seventeen and at college. You'd also think she was seventeen due to her attitude problem. I gave her an update on everything since I last saw her six weeks ago (Heather was on maternity leave) and told her that I was suffering from SPD. Her response 'you poor thing'. If I wasn't bothered about having no criminal record, I would have punched her. I didn't realise it was in a midwives job spec to be patronising as well as unhelpful, not reassuring in the slightest or have any confidence in what they tell you. I do now.

After telling her about my private scan she asked what the sonographer had said as she couldn't read the results. Gobsmacked. She said that 'to tick all the boxes' I should see a consultant just to make sure they were happy with the results. Cue a phone call to the hospital and an appointment made for five days after my due date. I'm fully aware that the NHS are extremely busy but surely maternal care should be high on their priority? What if the consultant isn't happy with the results? Something could have been done about it in the meantime. I'm finding it hard to understand how every ones attitude towards pregnant women can be so blase?

Granted, I'm not the only pregnant woman in the world but I'm getting seriously fucked off with everyone telling me to have a warm bath and take some paracetamol because last time I checked, warm baths and paracetamol do not fix things - especially not a baby that could potentially not be growing properly. Call me dramatic and I'll tell you to piss off, I'm carrying something that I have nurtured and even though she's the most annoying thing on the planet she's extremely precious to me and I want to know that she's ok. Surely I deserve that? I don't deserve to be shooed off and told to call back if she stops moving or I'm having contractions four minutes apart. Or to be told that I can't be seen by a doctor until after I'm due to give birth.

Midwives are in short supply, yes, but before they recruit any more, they should be checking that they actually give a damn about the women put into their care and stripped of any attitude problem. I deserve to be treated as an individual, not a number.