Effin back molars.

I appear to be slowly suffocating under a blanket of exhaustion, uni work and tantrums at the moment. Which means I don't have much to say other than when the fuck will these back molars cut so the blanket of foggy bullshit rises and I get my toddler and my life back?

Since the middle of last week I knew something was up with this kid. She'd gone from being delightful to a devil and just wasn't having anything other than her own way. And then it clicked. We were four teeth away from a complete set, it had to be the bastard teeth. The epic three hour nap she took yesterday and not so epic three hours of sleep I got last night confirmed that. And then there's the streaming cold...

If this is the return of nap time then I owe the toddler nap gods, big time.

It's exhausting, isn't it? Just taking care of someone other than yourself is mental work but when that someone is a raging, snot encrusted two year old who only wants to play in the Disney store or watch Wiley videos (don't ask)... it's exhausting. Newborn exhausting. Last week I was going to bed at 9pm. That hasn't happened since I was pregnant with her.

She might be miserable but she's still making me LOL. 

I'm doing the Calpol / Nurofen thing and trying to distract her with anything I can think of... cake making, play doh (I even let her mix the colours up, now that was painful), stickering, drawing on herself (yook, tattoo mummy!), letting her destroy the house etc etc. 

When she's finished teething, we're going to have a party. A massive rave in the Disney store. Effin teeth.

Cookie (and biscuit) monster.

I luuuuuuva de cookies. So does Lil. Sometimes (you will want to vomit at this confession), I will sit and eat 5 cookies. Five big cookies from Sainbo's bakery. Yep.

Tesco's cookies are lame, Morrisons are thicks and soft, Asda's are too chewy and Sainsbo's are perfection. Double chocolate chip are my favourite. Oh yeah. And as for Lil, well.... she eats cookies too (if I leave her any). She favours white chocolate chip but will eat any. So when I found out a friend had jacked her job in to bake, kerching! We'd hit the jackpot. My arse recoiled but OH MAN, I'd just have to work harder at the gym.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you.... Cookie&Biscuit. American cookies made with fresh British ingredients.

And here is the lady behind the amazing cookies and biscuits (yeah, they're amazing... I've tried them... they beat Sainsbo's hands down). Mama to the beautiful FJ and former NY girl, Danae gives us the down low on Motherhood.

NAME  Danae Dade    

                   

OCCUPATION   Owner of cookie&biscuit, mum, family manager

COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE  UK

WHAT DID YOUR LIFE CONSIST OF BEFORE YOU BECAME A MAMA?  

Lazy days on the couch, shopping, eating out,  late nights on the dance floor and trying to score passes for NY Fashion week.

HOW HAS BECOMING A MOTHER MADE YOU A BETTER PERSON? 

Having Frankie Jean has made me more patient, and has elevated my multi tasking skills to super hero levels.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE A FIRST TIME MUM?

Try to sleep when you can, and make sure you have time for yourself. 2 things I didn’t really do until months after baby was born and I was near a breakdown. A nap and a manicure will do wonders.

HOW HAS YOUR WARDROBE CHANGED SINCE HAVING A BABY / CHILDREN?  

It took me a while to lose baby weight so I have a bit more leggings and stretched out cotton basics than I would like to admit. But I am actively working on wearing real clothes again these days.

CAKE OR BISCUITS? 

I love all sweets, but I’m a bit biased so cookies&biscuits!!

WHAT OR WHO INSPIRES YOU?

Cliché, but my mom has sacrificed her whole adult life to my brothers and I .  She raised us all by herself, with very little money but a lot of heart and I only pray I can do even a fraction of the same for FJ.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SECRETS OR TIPS TO MAKING MOTHERHOOD THAT BIT EASIER?

Running has helped keep my nagging hormones at bay, its amazing what a trot around the block will do for your brain (and waistline) Cheapest therapy out there. Also, playdates and meeting other mums- there are so many groups here in London, (Mothersmeeting, London Mothers Club, Clapham Mums etc). oh and of course WINE.

Cookie&Biscuit are on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook.

The E word.

Lil has eczema.

Ok, so it isn't as bad as it could be and for that I am grateful. But there is still time for it to get worse. Yes it's common in children under five and can affect 1 in 10 (I've done my research) and... oh god, the anxiety. The doctor waved us off with a giant tub of Epaderm and told me not to worry. Do you know who you're speaking to, Doctor?

After talking to my Mother-in-law, I learnt that Tim also had eczema as a child (I did too) and unfortunately, his asthma could be result of that (but more likely it definitely is) for they are linked. She told me the story of how the doctor gave her lotions and potions to try on him and that she did. Unaware that the creams were pushing the eczema inside his body, she continued doing what she was told was right. After lots of research she learnt this is possibly the reason why he has asthma (but this is just an individual case, all cases of eczema vary as do treatments for each) So, she said, ditch the crap the doctor gave you and read up about alternative therapies. So I did, for hours.

First of all, I bought the Ecover laundry liquids we'd previously used, in bulk. I'd gotten lazy with this and after it had run out, just bought non bio and fabric softener from the supermarket. Then I ordered some balm to use instead of the Epaderm. I switched the shampoo and body wash to this and ordered a sun cream that was recommended by dermatologists for children with eczema. Phew. And then, as recommended by this FAB website, I ordered some pro-biotics that were also recommended to me by a Mum when Lil was suffering from a bad stomach (thanks Leonie). I've also started to think about making a switch to entirely organic clothing. Lil has a few pieces already and as time goes on I'll add to those, I won't go crazy and chuck out her existing wardrobe (for now!) because it's organic clothing isn't the cheapest but it's definitely made me think more about what she wears after reading about the chemicals in clothing and also an article on how organic clothing can help eczema (thanks to the amazing Jenny at KyNa Boutique). So after spending a lot of time reading up on how to control the eczema, it's now time to put these products to the test.

(What I'd also noticed was, when we were away in Derbyshire Lil's eczema had completely vanished. And within days of being home, it had returned and got considerably worse. I'm now having spaz attacks about what it could be... the smoggy southern air? The dog? The awful thick carpets in our rented house that I have to hoover almost every day? Her picking up on my stress, thus stressing her out?)

It's only been a few days so I can't really comment but I'll keep you posted. I'm not an expert on eczema and my decision to use a balm instead of Epaderm is entirely my own. I'm not in any way saying that it's wrong to use any types of cream on eczema for I'm not a dermatologist - this is just something I'm trying out to see if I can control and hopefully cure Lilian's eczema. Just a little disclaimer, innit.

When your mate does a book.

I have a friend, let's call her Aimee. She's short, like me, and extremely funny (like me, RIGHT?). We have a lot in common (booze, annoying kids, love of crisps and cake and sausage sandwiches) and do you know what? We haven't even met in person yet. Now if she were a man, that would probably be wrong on so many levels. But I love her and she makes me laugh a lot. We are like SOUL SISTAS.

So, this Aimee... she did a book. A novella, if you will. She's good at writing and stuff, really good. When she told me she was doing a book I got excited because I knew it would be funny. And then she sent it to me and I was like...... OH.

OH YEAH. And I related to it all and it made me snort in places and actual snot flew out of my nose on to my laptop. Yep, that's how funny it was. Because, like I said, she's funny. And not many people make me laugh these days, I blame old age and cynicism (I get that from my parents).

Her book, 'Survival of the Ginnest' (see what she did there?) is about Dottie Harris. Before she had kids she lived the indulgent life we all once led before we sprogged. And then she had kids and she had gin. The book follows her journey from childless to marble-less (totally a word) through Facebook updates. And I feel like a massive div for telling you this but at times I actually went to press 'Like'. See, div.

You can buy her book over at Amazon for your Kindle or i-Pad thingy that you read off of or any other tablet that substitutes books these days (PAPER BOOKS FO' LIFE, YO - although I do read stuff on my iphone so that makes me.... a hypocrite?)

Go take a look, have a read. Be a div and try and press 'Like'. You'll laugh, thats fo' sho'.

You can see what Aimee is up to (when she isn't ginning it or texting me pictures of sausage sandwiches) here.

P.S She didn't pay me to write this. I don't take bribes. Not even booze bribes.