I give up.

I'm not leaving the house for a week. Will that please you all?

My c-section incision is still very sore and I think it may be infected. I'm sure the people around me think it's my own fault... 'You're supposed to be taking it easy', 'you shouldn't be doing that', 'are you sure you should be going out' etc. Well let me tell you now, it's not so easy sitting on your backside all day when you have a baby that wants bouncing to sleep and will only settle in your arms. Or staring at the wall whilst she's sleeping and not doing any housework when the house is a mess.

But just so you all hush your gums I shall spend this week resting. The house shall remain a tip and the child and I will just be bored.

Satisfied?

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Little Miss Ratty

My darling monster decided that instead of being a rat bag from 7pm until 10pm last night, she'd be a rat bag for most of the day which meant we had a pretty peaceful evening.

The same cannot be said for tonight. Yes, she's been ratty for most of the afternoon but she's not in a good mood tonight. She is currently taking a time out and is sprawled across my (somewhat saggy) chest.

I'm about thirty minutes away from a nervous breakdown and inhaling the last five Tylenols. And I haven't had my daily caffeine fix. Thank christ I'm off to Starbucks tomorrow.

And I have a funny feeling I'm about to develop herpes (a cold sore from stress NOT through sexual contact).

FML.

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Not being big headed or nothing but...

I have a clever little baby. She's already smiling (it's NOT wind) and trying to talk. She gets excited when Pepper Pig comes on the tv and has established that she likes rock music.

However, she needs to learn that I cannot survive on three hours sleep. Touche Eclat or not.

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Your eye baggage exceeds the maximum weight...

I have a sleeping baby on me. It's taken since 5pm to get her to stop screaming, pipe down and go to sleep. It's now 9:45pm. Every night from around 6ish she starts her nightly screaming session. It can last up to 5 hours, it isn't colic. It's normal. They say.

She wakes every two hours for a bottle: 9pm, 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am, 7am etc... So if you do a few calculations I'm getting approximately 4/5 hours of broken sleep a night. Would explain why I have bags under my eyes weighing more than they should and christ do I have to pay for them...
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Dear Lilian...

Hello Bubs

You're nearly four weeks old now and weigh 9lbs 5oz. You take up every waking moment, even if it's just being so adorable I can't help but waste time staring at you. I looked at pictures of you from the day you were born the other night and got upset, you were a tiny little monster and now you're a real person. You've grown so quickly and it scares me to my very core. I sometimes wish I could freeze time and stay in a moment for months.

You have learnt how to pout, you enjoy listening the The Black Keys, you stare at the TV when Timmy Time is on... You snore too which is very endearing. Shame the same can't be said for your father...

You're so precious. I never thought I feel like this, it's overwhelming. I'd do anything for you, anything you asked (obvs you can't talk yet). I'd even give up all my shoes and bags for you. What have you done to me?

People tell me I've changed since having you. Whatevs. I think I'm a better person (sometimes) and appreciate things more. It's definitely made me realise how important family is. You've sent me a bit nutty too. I cried at the royal wedding, I often daydream about us running away to the countryside, I'm extremely over protective of you.

Just don't go telling people what a sap you've turned me in to, ok? Or you're grounded.

Lots of love
Mummy xxx

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